Saturday, November 17, 2007

PostSecret

I bought a book Thursday night called PostSecret by Frank Warren. His idea for the book started as a community art project. He handed out 3,000 postcards inviting people to share their secrets anonymously on a postcard and mail them to him. He compiled this book from some of the postcards. They are very artistic and the book just spoke to me. I love art. I love truth. I want to understand and share in people's pain. Sometimes I think that if I share someone's hurt, I can take part of it away from them so they won't hurt anymore. I don't know how I can do that out of a book but some of these postcards are just amazing, heart-wrenching, but beautiful all at the same time.

Excerps:

"I'm 25, and I've never been kissed. It's not that I don't want to...it's just that no one else does."


"When my friends go on diets, I discourage them. This is because I really just want them to be fatter than me."


(On a starbucks coffee wrapper) "I give decaf to customers who are RUDE to me!"


"Honestly, I'm glad your uncle died. He molested me that time in the 7th grade that I spent the night at your house. He told me that I liked it. I hope he likes it in his grave."


"I believe that one day I will like myself."


"I don't know what to say to God anymore"


"I wish my parents could see me for what I am...instead of what I didn't become"
(I CAN REALLY RELATE TO THIS ONE!!)


"I only love one of my children"


"When I see an ugly bride, what I am really seeing is a glimmer of hope for the future. Maybe I will marry someday too."


"When I eat, I feel like a failure."


"The medication is not enough to make me forget what he did to me...if I see him again, I will kill him to save the others."



...very powerful book. I just read the rest of them. These are the ones that spoke to me the most. There are so many people hurting out there. It makes me want to be more nice and friendly to everyone. You never know what people are going through.

me

Warm - 11/17/07

Frost covers the ground
Cold creeps through the window panes

They say it will be warm again
by Wednesday

But I am warm inside
thinking of the blessings
from above
Family
Friends
Appreciation of who I am from others

Am I finally finding myself
or am I just not allowing her
to try to change me anymore?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

You give me breath

BREATHING by Lifehouse

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there
and take a breath and hold on tight
spin around one more time
and gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't want to speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside Heaven's door
and listen to you breathing
is where I wanna be yeah

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth
and I'm trying to identify the voices in my head
God which one's you
let me feel one more time what it
feels like to feel and
break these calluses off of me
one more time

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside your door
and listen to your breathing
is where I wanna be yeah
where I wanna be

I don't want a thing from you
bet you're tired of me
waiting for the scraps to fall off of your table to the ground
cause I just want to be here now
cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside Heaven's door
and listen to your breathing
is where I wanna be yeah

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside Heaven's door
and listen to you breathing
is where I wanna be yeah
where I wanna be
where I wanna be

this song spoke to me today

QUASIMODO by Lifehouse

you can be right
and I'll be real
honesty won't be a pain that you'll have to feel
cause I don't need your approval
to find my worth
I'm trapped inside of my own mind
afraid to open my eyes cause of what I'd find
and I don't want to live like this anymore

there goes my pain
there goes my chains
did you see them falling
because this feeling
that has no meaning
there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back
there it goes

does it scare you that I can
be something different than you
would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't
you can't control me
and you can't take away from me who I am

there goes my pain
there goes my chains
did you see them falling
because this feeling
that has no meaning
there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back
you can't change me
you can't break me
there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back

have you ever felt
like your only comfort was your cage
you're not alone
I've felt the same as you
have you ever felt
like your secrets give you away
you're not alone
I've been there too
cause everyone is looking
and everyone is laughing
but I think everyone feels the same
everybody wants to feel ok
everybody wants to
everybody wants to feel

there goes my pain
there goes my chains
did you see them falling
because this feeling
that has no meaning
there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back
cause I don't want it
I don't want it
you can't change me
you can't break me
there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back
there it goes